Back to December
by UsagiMoon2627
Summary: Serena returns after a 7 year absences to do some apologizing. Based on 'Back to December' by Taylor Swift. Just a short one-shot.


**Back to December**

She stood there, staring. The door was polish wood, the dark color a bright contrast to the white carpet in the hallway. She sighed, still staring at said door and wondering what to do. Should she knock? Should she just leave the letter she'd written and go? She didn't know what to do. It seemed that her courage was going to fade on her, if she didn't make a decision fast. Dropping her head, she sighed and raised her hand.

The door opened.

He was more handsome than she remembered. His dark hair was falling in his eyes, and in desperate need of a hair cut. His nose, lips, chin, and jaw were all the same, as were his eyes. Those eyes that even now, were seeing right into her soul. He'd always been able to do that with those eyes of his. Dark blue, the same color as the oceans on a summer day. The same eyes that had made her fall in love with him so long ago.

Taking a deep breath and stepping back from the door in surprise, she gave a weak smile to his shocked face, along with a small wave.

He blinked, as if he were dreaming before speaking. "Serena?"

She nodded her head, her blond hair falling over her eyes. Brushing the hair back, she said, "Hi, Darien."

He walked out into the hallway, closing the door behind him, his backpack on his back, keys in hand. "What are you doing here?" he asked before remembering his manners and shaking his head. "I'm sorry… its just… I wasn't expecting to see you…ever…"

"I know," Serena replied. "I..um… I don't mean to hold you up, I just wanted to drop this off." She held out the white piece of paper she'd folded many times over. He took it from her, looking at it as if it were going to explode.

He nodded his head, that gorgeous black hair falling once again over his eyes. "Alright.. I guess." Staring at the piece of paper for a minute longer, he put it in his front pocket before looking back up at her. "Are you going to be around later? Maybe we could catch a drink together or something."

Well, that shocked her. "I don't know," she replied. "I won't be here very long. I'm leaving today."

And that shocked him. "Today? But you just got here, Serena," he said.

She shook her head. "No, I've been here for a week."

The shock seemed to wear off, as his dark eyes narrowed as he looked at her. Nodding his head, he gave a small smile. "Alright, I see," he answered. "I guess some other time, then, huh?"

"I guess." Serena backed away from him, heading towards the elevators. Her blond hair moved with her feet, her long legs carrying her away from him before she let go of the carefully reserve tears. It was harder than she thought to come back, to do what had to be done. She didn't dare look back. She wouldn't be able to stand it, to see the pain and hurt in his eyes. The sadness. "Good-bye, Darien," she softly whispered to herself as she pushed the button to go down.

"Why say good-bye? You haven't left yet, have you?"

Serena spun around, long blond hair flying. Wiping her eyes, she sniffled once before speaking. "Darien?"

He grinned, openly. "Hi, there again. Seems you and I are taking the same elevator down."

Serena nodded her head, blue eyes wide. The doors opened, the thumping sound bringing her out of her stupor. Glancing at the open doors, she walked into the small box that would take her downstairs, her small finger pressing the 1st floor button. Darien followed behind her.

The doors closed, and silence followed.

It was the longest 10 minutes of her life. Serena swore she could hear the cables as they moved, it was so quiet. Why didn't he say anything? The silence was killing her.

"How have you been?"

"Huh?" she replied. His question had caught her off guard. The sound of his voice echoed off the walls. "Oh, um… I've been alright. Working and going to college, pretty much."

He nodded his head. "That's good…I guess," he said.

"Uh huh," Serena replied.

The doors opened, and she almost ran from the elevator. He stood there, watching as she darted from the small box. Sighing, Darien let the elevator doors close. He didn't push any buttons, just let the elevator do its thing and go up.

It'd been seven years since he'd seen her. Seven years since he'd heard her voice, seen her light blue eyes, and long blond hair. Seven years since he'd brought her roses, and she left them on the table, long blond hair flowing behind her as she ran, crying, from the room. Seven years since he'd asked her to marry him, and she refused.

Running a hand through his hair, he pushed the button for his floor. She'd been back for a week. It had taken her a week to gather up the courage to come and see him. And why hadn't anyone called him to say she was back? The elevator doors opened, he stepped out and went back to his apartment. Unlocking his door, he stepped inside and just dropped his bag on the floor.

Heading towards the kitchen, Darien opened the fridge and grabbed himself a Bud Light from the door. He took a long drink, before lower the bottle from his mouth and sighing once more. Remembering the letter she'd given him, he took his beer and headed towards the couch, pulling the letter from his shirt pocket.

_Darien_, he started reading. Her handwriting swift and beautiful, just like her. _I'm so glad I got to see you. How's life, tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever; I've heard. We should chat sometime, small talk about work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why, because the last time you saw me; is still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die. _

_So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December all the time. It turned out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine. _

_These days I haven't been sleeping. Staying up playing back myself leaving. Your birthday passed, I didn't call. Summer comes, beautiful times; I watched you laughing from the passenger side and I realized I loved you in the fall. And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye._

_So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I go back to December all the time. It turned out freedom ain't nothing but missing you, wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time. _

_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right. How you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming; but if we loved again I swear I'd love you right. _

_I'd go back in time and change it but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand. _

_This is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. I go back to December all the time. _

Darien sat the piece of paper on the coffee table, his beer long forgotten next to it. Not even thinking about it, he got up and ran out his apartment door; his bare feet cushion against the soft carpet. Not waiting for the elevator to come up, he took the stairs, two at a time.

He ran all the way, barefooted, to Amy's apartment. Pushing the up button, he doubled over trying to catch his breath. He heard the ding, looked up as the doors opened and into two sets of blue eyes.

"Darien?" Amy's voice sounded with shock. "What… What are you doing here?"

"Ser…Serena… Where… is…" he couldn't get the whole thing out, still trying to catch his breath. When he was sure he wasn't going to pass out, he stood up; one hand on the wall, the other on his side. He looked at Amy and Mina, his dark eyes searching.

Mina looked at Amy, one eyebrow arched. Sighing, she turned her attention back to Darien. "Serena is upstairs, packing. Her plane leaves tonight at 8," she said as they moved past him.

Darien watched them go, before he went into the elevator and pressed for the 17th floor. Just before the doors closed, Amy turned around and said, "Take good care of her, Darien." He nodded his head, her blue eyes following him as the doors closed.

The ride up seemed to take forever, and the whole time; Darien was trying to figure out what to say. When the elevator doors opened, he ran out, nearly pushing some little old couple over in his retreat; and headed for Amy's apartment.

Serena wiped her eyes again, for what seemed like the hundredth time since she'd come back from Darien's. Her suitcase lay open on the guest bed, clothes spread about around it, and it seemed all she could do was cry.

Why did she come back? Did she honestly think that seeing him would heal the hole in her heart? She needed to move on, hadn't she told herself that since the night he'd gotten down on one knee and asked her to be his forever? Clinging to a blue nightshirt, Serena sat down on the bed, tears flowing freely from her crystal eyes. In the background, the radio played songs of love and forgiveness. She didn't deserve forgiveness, she didn't deserve love.

"_I'm so glad you made time to see me. How's life, tell me how's your family? I haven't seen them in a while. You've been good, busier than ever. We small talk, work and the weather. Your guard is up and I know why._

"'_Cause the last time you saw me. Still burned in the back of your mind. You gave me roses and I left them there to die_," Taylor Swift sang, her voice clear as it came from the radio speakers. Serena listened to it for a minute before her sobs turned into laughter.

"Same words I used when I wrote that letter," she said to the empty room. "Couldn't even think of my own words to say." Then the laughter turned back into sobs.

"Sounds just like you."

Serena's head whipped around, eyes wide open as she stared at Darien. He stood in the doorway, causally leaning against the door jam, his arms folded across his chest as he stared at her.

Serena wiped at the tears, the blue nightshirt still hugged against her chest. "What… Darien, what are you doing here?" she asked. She didn't move, just continued to look at him.

Darien stepped into the room, his movements easy and calm. "Well, I didn't really get to say anything when you stopped by earlier. You were like the wind, in and out of there so fast… Now, kindly explain to me why you're back. After seven years, Serena; why you'd come back?"

She didn't say anything at first, just sat there on the bed. Turning her head, she sighed and stood up. "I came back to say I'm sorry for that night. For hurting you," she said as she turned back around, gently laying the nightshirt in her suitcase. "I know I should have come and seen you sooner, shouldn't have waited as long as I did; but.. I just couldn't."

"Why?" He moved closer to her.

Picking up a pair of panties, she threw them into the suitcase. "Because…."

Darien moved closer, almost standing next to her by the bed. "Why, Serena… Why?"

Sighing out on impatient, she threw another piece of clothing into the suitcase. "Because I just couldn't, Darien! All right?" She looked up at him then, realized how close he was and took a step back. "I have to.. I have to go, Darien. I have a plan to catch."

"Your plane doesn't leave until eight tonight, its only two," he said softly. Watching as she picked up yet another piece of clothing, he grabbed her wrist and made her look at him. "So try again."

"Let me go, Darien," she said weakly.

"No."

"Please."

"Give me one good reason why I should let you go."

"I'm getting married in two weeks."

Shock entered his eyes, but he didn't let it show on his face. Now, almost inches from her face, he smiled and said, "Not good enough." He caught her face in his free hand, allowed himself the perverse pleasure of seeing the fury leap out of her eyes, then covered her mouth with his.

There'd never been a taste he'd craved the way he craved Serena's. He had never understood it. And never worried that he should. It simply was. She might rake him to the bone for it, but he had a point to prove. To both of them.

He wasn't gentle. She'd never seemed to expect or need gentleness from him. He simply pressed her back to the wall and took.

There was no point in lying to herself, she wanted to feel this involved again, this aware of self, this needy. But lying to him was a different matter entirely, so she shoved at him, struggled with herself, and refused to yield to either.

He laid a hand on her heart, and with his mouth only a breath from hers now, stared into her blue eyes. Mirrors. "Yeah, I thought so," Darien said.

Serena stared back into his eyes, her breathing a little heavy. "All that proved was the spark is still alive, Darien. But its over between us. Didn't you hear me?" she moved away from him, afraid that resolve would disappear if he kissed her again. "I'm getting married in two weeks."

He moved closer, heat coming off his body, his hands twitching to touch her again. "Oh yeah, I heard you," he replied. "So, who's the lucky man? Do I know him? Are you going to live around here? Back in Tokyo? Come on, Serena, give me all the lovely details."

She would have, had he given her the chance; however, before she knew what was happening, his mouth was on hers again and all hope was lost. He went slowly, for both of them, savoring what they'd once devoured, lingering where once they'd rushed. With the radio playing in the background, with her arms lifting to come around him, he wouldn't allow himself to demand. Instead, he seduced.

"_So this is me swallowing my pride, Standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I'd go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and make it alright. I go back to December all the time. _

"_These days I haven't been sleeping. Staying up playing back myself leaving. When your birthday passed and I didn't call. And I think summer, all the beautiful times. I watched you laughing from the passenger side and realized I loved you in the fall. And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind. You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye_," Taylor's sweet voice continued to sing.

And as Taylor sang, Serena's heart beat like a drum. Or was it from the blood rushing into her ears, she wasn't sure. All she knew was his lips were warm, and patient, all the more arousing with the hints of heat and urgency she sensed strapped down inside him.

She sighed, drew him closer. And let him take her deeper.

Soft, slow, moist. She felt the cool air from the open window rush across her heated skin, the scent of the afternoon, the whisper of her name through lips moving, moving over her own.

If all the years between had formed a gulf between them, this one kiss in a deserted apartment began to forge the bridge.

It was he who drew back, then shook her to the core by grasping both of her hands, brining them to his lips. "Yes, you hurt me," he said as he looked at her. "You hurt me, and it took years to get over it. But I never got over you. I loved you, Serena. My feelings never went away or died down. They burned now, more so than they did when you left."

"Darien…" Serena stared at him, her hands still trapped in his. "I have to go. I can't deal with this now." She tried to move away from him, pulling her hands free.

But he wasn't letting her go, not this time. He needed to know, needed to understand. "You came back for a reason, Serena," he said. He pulled her towards him, cradled her head on his chest. "You came back to see me, now tell me why."

Sighing, she closed her eyes and began. "Mother was pressing me. The morning of the day you asked me to marry you, she told me I was to go to college, get married to some rich guy, and dump you. That it was all fine and dandy to have a fling, a fling! As if you could called what we had a fling! But I needed to enter the real world, and end things with you.

"Then Daddy was pushing colleges on me. 'Go here, Serena; they've got the best doctor program'," she said in a deep voice. "Or I'd here about some other college that had the best lawyer program. Rei was on me about always being late, and the other girls were wondering how I'd ever get into college with my grades.

"So, I'm staying up late, studying. I'm looking over college apps, applying to certain ones that Daddy had picked out, or listening to Mother complain about my choices in suitors. And then came the day we went out on that date. I felt so relaxed, so calm just being with you. I was so happy, then you got down on your knee and asked me to marry you. I felt like the world was crashing down on me, so many questions, so many decisions that I just wanted to get away. So I ran."

"Away from me," Darien said.

Serena nodded her head. She looked up at him, her crystal eyes glistering. "I ran away from you, from my parents, from everyone. I applied to the college I wanted to go, went and cut off all ties with my family. I emailed Rei and the girls when I had the chance and went on to get my life back.

"But in the back of my mind, there was always you. I was so in love with you, so in love that I couldn't breathe sometimes," she confessed to him. She had the pleasure of seeing the shock enter his eyes. "I know I never said anything, I know I never gave myself away. I should have, but I figured you knew. I mean, you asked me to marry you, how could you not know?"

"I didn't know. I asked you to marry me because I was in love with you," Darien said. "I wanted to be with you, forever. So I did what any normal person does when they're in love, and asked the person said first person is in love with to marry them."

The tears slipped out, sliding silently down her cheeks. She made no movement to wipe them away. "Well, I was," Serena said. "However, after a couple of years, it got easier to push you to the back of my mind. It got easier to not think about you, to not wonder what you were up to or how you were doing." She left the safety of his arms and walked over to the window. Looking out, she watched as the sun danced on the crystal clear water. "Then I met…him… And he looks so much like you," she said as she turned to look at him. "He talks like you, he has the same eyes as you. But he isn't you, and I think that's what made it so easy to be with."

"Are you in love with him?" The question caught her off guard. She stared at him for a moment before she answered him.

"I'm marrying him, aren't I?"

"That doesn't answer the question, Serena. Answer the question," Darien replied as he stepped closer to her. "Are you in love with him?"

Serena opened her mouth to say yes, but stopped herself. She knew the answer was no, had known it was no since the day Seiya had asked her to marry him. She knew she could never love anyone but Darien. Darien was hers, heart, soul and mind. "No," she softly whispered. "No, I don't love him. I'm not in love with him, but he's good for me. He's what my parents want for me."

Darien closed the distance between the two of them, and placed two fingers under her chin, making her head go up so he could see into her eyes. "And what does Serena want?" he asked it so carefully, so calmly that it shocked even him.

Serena looked down, and almost laughed when she saw he had no shoes on. "You do realize you have no shoes on, right? Did you run all the way over here barefooted?"

Darien looked down, saw that she was right and chuckled. "You're not answering the question again, Serena. And yes, I realize I have no shoes on, which is why my feet are burning. Now," he kissed her forehead "answer the question."

Serena laughed. She raised her head, stared into his deep, dark blue eyes; and placing her hands on either side of his face, said, "You. Its always been you, Darien."

"Good answer," he said just before he leaned down and kissed her.

"_So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. And I'd go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom aint' nothing but missing you. Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time. _

"_I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me, so right. And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry. Maybe this is wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming. If we loved again I swear I'd love you right. _

"_I'd go back in time and change it, but I can't. So if the chain is on your door, I understand. _

"_So this is me swallowing my pride, standing in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. I'd go back to December all the time. It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing that I'd realized what I had when you were mine. I'd go back to December, turn around and change my own mind. I go back to December all the time," _Taylor finished, the music ending on a tragic sweet note.

Kissing her lips one more time, he smiled down at her. "Marry me, instead, Serena."

Eyes wide, heart open, she could only smile. "Yes."

_I know I've got two other stories that need to be finished, but I was listening to her song the other night and this just popped into my mind. Of course, nothing belongs to me. 'Back to December' belongs to Taylor Swift and Big Machine Records. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi._


End file.
